one hour ago i was super super happy excited.
then i got an email. a bad bad bad bad email.
n feel like falling down to a boiling petrol hell.
:'(

today i got this gift box from San Paulo, from a dear fren.
in the box theres a cd with many of my fav songs like stand by me, three little birds,quidam etc..
and some yummy yummy chocolate (even tho it has travelled half of the world for2 months to reachh me :P)

and this star .. made a pic of it with my wacky webcam. Its color is much better in reality. :)

and a sweet letter which said " you will find a handcraft that my mom is offering you. Its a star made of cinamon that can be hung on the wall and gives joviality, sympathy and good spirit. It promotes patience,security and determination,while atracting positive energy".

wee wee this made me smile!! :) i think i d share it with everyone. The world is being chaotic. Many of us are frustrated and tired becuz of war, of so much work or of whatever.

But do keep up our energy.This star and its lovely cinamon smell really spice me up. Wanna share the feeling with you.

the letter ended that :

" I hope you will always remember this time in our lives,where we are together working for transformation of our reality.."

Keep up ur positive energy!

Take care everyone.

*smile*
-Lan Anh-

Doha Siel, 5, lies in a Baghdad hospital bed with a piece of shrapnel embedded in her spine Thursday. Nine people were in serious but stable condition with shrapnel injuries at Baghdad's Al-Yarmouk Hospital, according to Dr. Jamal Abed Hassan. http://www.stopwar.org.uk http://www.internationalanswer.org/campaigns/emerg/index.html http://www.votenowar.org/pdf/landscape2.PDF http://www.supportunicef.org/forms/whichcountry_iraq.html http://www.savethechildren.org/owow/owow.shtml

DIARY FROM IRAQ - http://electroniciraq.net/news/343.shtml

" But even this silence was eclipsed by the scene I encountered when I walked into the hospital. The corridor was lined with empty beds (at least 20 beds on either side) awaiting war casualties. I spoke with a nurse on the vacant ward and she said she had worked all night in the emergency room of a regular hospital. There were many elders brought in with heart problems, most of which were a response to the stress of the situation. Thank you all for all you are doing to stop the atrocity of this war before more lives are claimed. I don't know how many people died in today's bombing. But it is too late to save them.

I don't know how many people have died in wars past. But I know it is too late to save them. I don't know how many people will die in the days coming from this war, but I know it isn't too late to save them."

STOP THE WAR!! Listening to Utopia Alanis M. we'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts engage in dialoguewe'd all slow down rest without guilt not lie without fear disagree sans judgement we would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive andenjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge andopen and reach out and speak up This is utopia this is my utopia This is my ideal my end in sightUtopia this is my utopia This is my nirvana My ultimate we'd open our arms we'd all jump in we'd all coast down into safety nets we would share and listen and support and welcome be propelled by passion not invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and amused by differencebe gentle and make room for every emotion we'd provide forums we'd all speak out we'd all be heard we'd all feel seenwe'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we would heal be humbledand be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know when to do which we'drelease and disarm and stand up and feel safe this is utopia this is my utopia this is my ideal my end in sight utopia this is my utopia this is my nirvanamy ultimate

of 2003,the war on Iraq became reality justa couple of hours ago.Today is too sad.Humanity is challenged.Thousand souls are broken. Scared and speechless and anger and screams.
And this weird flu thing killed one more French doctor.And who knows who and how many will be next.
Disasters,HIV,poverty,unemployment,pollution,the hella flu virus,etc etc etc ARE your REAL ENEMIES!!!!Children,women,the innocent ,the hungers,the weak of muscles are NOT your enemies.
WAKE UP!!!

today my article about the war on Iraq was on the youth mag i m working for.But was it only a scream in vain?
Clock's gonna strike 12 soon and today will be gone.
waiting for the difference
waiting for a miracle
waiting for a change
in anger,frustration,sadness and questions.
....
but its NOT time to be frustrated and screwed up.
So rise up,keep up whatever we r doing for peace.Be united.More things need to be done but Our effort wont be in vain.

saturday night waz sleepless becuz of a desparate fight with a mosquito and some worries and excitement.

sunday morning, 6am.woke up with drowsy eyes and healthy body.Mom took me to take the copies,sandwiches n juice.bum almost destroyed on the back of mom's mortorbike with food boxes for 30 people n a pack of cam,video cam n papers on back.

8 am reached Peace Villages where disabled children with orange agent living,received buses carrying young people from other centers.The workshop went on great.Lots of intense discussions,difficulties in communicating and bridgebuilding.But in general,better preparation needed next time but quite satisfied.Was fully inspired and passion's reaffirmed.So much feelings, but litta tired to put things in detailed now. Coming later.

2pm, home.Weather was hot n sunny today. Kinda nice one.but cant help my head from aching after 1 hour in the sun n dusty road home.Threw tiresome into bed,didnt move for 2 hours,eye closed.Body's tired but soul's happy tho.:)

4 pm,up.Had second lunch which was dinner too.rice, meatball covered with tomatoes n rau muong hehe :P.So healthy n yummy.

6pm,talked with a Tig fren who is helping to create a website for my project.Tig is such a cool connector.:)oh by the way,ani1 knows where i can find *free* web space hosting??? help!!

last time reading,deleting emails.Some r kinda hard to delete.Some have been kep for 2 years,some just an hour.Deleted almost all.Need to empty n creating space. Need new space, fresh air.Telling myself " wow.did it!what a change!" :P.

Current mood : tired n energetic, nostagic n happy :)

Lan Anh


- * - * - * - * - * - * -
. . .. ... . . . .... ... ... . . . .. ..


that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains...

that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back...

that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it...

that the paradigm we live in
is not all that is offered to us...

that there are many ways of falling and staying in love...

that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different...

that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change...

that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself...

that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated...



that it's taking me a long time to
become the person I want to be...

that its time for bed.:)

" AH!VANITAS VANITATUM!WHICH OF US IS HAPPY IN THIS WORLD?WHICH OF US HAS HIS DESIRE?OR,HAVING IT,IS SATISFIED? -Come,children,let us shut up the box and the puppets for our play is played out"
-The End-

Thaz the quote that make me think, like and also dislike most (i know its weird :P but really thaz how i feel)from Vanity Fair.

A couple of other sentences i picked from Vanity Fair -a great novel but not recommended to those who stressed,depressive or pesstimistic. :)

Tat guy,William Thackeray,needs some healing n inspirational lights. :) Even tho

"No writer was better gifted than Thackeray for this kind of satire because no faculty is more proper to satire than reflection",Hippolyte Adolphe Taine

---- O*o*o*o*o*O*O*O*o*o*o*o*O -----

* YOU'VE GOT NO MONEY ,and you want to compete with those who have.You poor little earthenware pipkin,you want to swim down the stream along with the great copper kettles.All women are alike.Everybody is striving for what is not worth the having*
- Chapter "Guant House" 465-


*WHICH_ I WONDER ,brother reader,is the better lot -to die prosperous and famous,or poor and dissapointed?To have,and to be forced to yield;or to sink out of life,having played and lost the game?That must be a strange feeling when a day of our life come and we say,To-morrow,success ir failure wont matter much,and the sun wil rise,and all myriads of mandkind go to their work or their pleasure as usual, but i shall be out of the turmoil.*
-Chapter Returns to the Genteel World - 588-


* IT IS THE PRETTY FACE which creates sympathy in the hearts of men,those wicked rogues.A woman may posses the wisdom and chasity of Minerva,and we give no need to her if she has a plain face.What folly will not a pair of bright eyes make pardonable?What dullness may not red lips and sweet accents render pleasant?And so,with their usual sense of justice,ladies argue that because a woman is handsome,therefor she is a fool.O ladies,ladies!There are some of you who are neither handsome nor wise"
- Chapter A family in a small away - 374


* I KNOW FEW THINGS MORE affecting than that timorous debasement and self-humiliation of a woman.How she owns that it is she and not the man who is guilty;how she takes all her faults on her side;how she courts in a manner punishment for the wrongs which she has not committed,and persists in shielding the real cuplrit!It is those who injure women who get the most kindness from them;they are are born timid and tyrants, and maltreat those who are humblest before them.*
- Chapter Contain a vulgar incident -473-


* I KNOW NO SORT OF LYING which is more frequent in Vanity Fair than this-and it may be remarked how people who practice it take credit to themselves for their hispocrisy,and fancy that they are exceedingly virtuous and praise-worthy,because they are able to deceive the world with regard to the extent of their means.*
- Chapter a Cynical Chapter - 380-


* WHAT QUALITIES ARE THERE for which a man gets so speedy a return of appluase,as those of bodily superiority,activity, and valour?Time out of mind strength and courage have been the theme of bards and romances,and from the story of TRoy down to to-day,poetry has always chosen a soldier for a hero.I wonder it is because men are coward in heart that they are admire bravery so much,and place miltary valour so far beyond every other quality for reward and wordship?*
- Chapter The girl i left behind me.283 -


* THUS,MY DEAR AND CIVILISED READER, if you and i were to find ourselves this evening in a society of greengrocers,let us say,it is probable that our conversation would not be brilliant;if'on the other hand, a greengrocer should find himself at your refined and polite tea-table,where everybody was saying witty things,and everybody of fashion and reputate tearing her friends to pieces in the most delightful manner,it is possible that the stranger would not be very talkative,and by no means interesting or interested*
- Chapter Return to Genteel world - 603-

Hey guys n girls, if u r into drawings n designing n love kids then help!!!

Im doing a project with children and youth who are street,disabled n disadvantaged. They are being trained to be youth reporters for the national radio.

Im making a profile book of them. And in a couple of weeks will get them uniform!! :P..

So i need a logo/icon to be the group logo and printed on the group TSHiRT uniform. The icon should be simple,dynamic looking,attractive and should features ideas of

+ youth speak out.
+ youth master media (ie : radio and writing)
+ Disavantaged yet powerful n potentials beings,small voices yet strong ones.
+ Not so many colours but eye-catching.

Please help!!!

u can draw and scan and email to me to : angel_on_broomstick@hotmail.com

Before 30 March 2003.

And by the way, you will have a very very very cool gift from the group if ur logo is most wanted by the kids.

Thank you

lan Anh

Today, school was sooo relaxing :)..especially for my class (which has no boy in it :( :P) cuz its Women's Day. At Physics and Maths classes, both of the teachers were turned down :P n we had NO lesson!:P they couldnt get angry cuz its Women's Day,didnt wanna be called with names n thought of as not very gallant guys :P :P.

Then party. School was a a big mess of parties! Every class has party! Noisy Music,guys being drama actors n crazy jokers to entertain the girls hehe. OH tragedy! its tragic when a class has no guy:( :P.A supreme women world! But still we had heaps of fun...ate creammy huge cakes, dress some funky clothes, made bunches of photos n talked n busy getting gifts. Not too bad. :)

Well,Women's Day is a big celebration in Vietnam not only for women politicians or activists but for all anyone with female gender :). Its like ur Mom's day too.Even bigger cuz its for daughters,grandmas, sweethearts hehe ,a bit of valentines too since loz of roses r chocolates being comsumed.

Then got home. Checked email n got a couple of cards from my frens. Then, went to take a Rhona's gift from her friend who's coming to vietnam to organize a summer camp. Thanks Rhona!! :) U dont have to do that u know.Thaz too sweet of you!Thx:)

Oh u see the little pic up there of a cool smiley woman? thaz my mom!N the guy is my dad.The pic is more than 20 years old n was one of their first dates. :)

OK theres a lot i can tell about my mom .But anywaz i ve been thinking n same old learning : mom rocks! :)Shes not only my mom but my friend,work partner,debator and so much so much more.She means more anything to me in this whole big world.Theres so much to say about how special she is. But well im not gonna blabla even tho i really want to :P.

Aniwaz she is a really important person to me and influence me a lot. The *me* today has loz of her pieces of her soul.She always supports my passions n dreams.A memory. When i first wrote an opinion pieace for a children's newspaper, i got only 10 000 Vietnamese Dong which is like half a dollar :P, very little n everyone was kinda laughing saying she should give me one dollar instead of taking me a long way to the newspaper office to get the money. But she spent a morning just to take me there and get my first *make-it-myself* money. All of my articles n photos and films about me from, she kept them carefully and keep in a huge box and whenever i feel tired or frustrated becuz of work,this box n collection wake up and re-energize my passions.

Mom is also the person i argue and debate with most. She challenges me all the time with questions and sharp points. She challenges me to think of how to be a practical dreamers,how to transmute my dreams into actualities. We debate,heatedly discuss and argue about everything from politics to human values to women stuff to blabla :) which helps me to not only *see* but *capture and understand* the world beyond its outside looking.

Plus,my mom is really someone who squeeze 48 hours into 24 :P.She has some weird kind of energy- not human one sometimes i told her :P.She's managing so much work as office as a manager n still being a great cook! and caring wife n mom..OH she rocks! she really does :)

We have been having lots of problems during the last year. Becuz i m grown up and moms moving to a new period too.Both of us have to get used to that.Its not easy tho. Sometimes we have different motivations,conflicts sort of and not clearly understand each other n its kind scary sometimes. But we are both trying to learn n keep discovering. But its not a big thing.

The only thing is we will have to be away from each other soon or later *sniff sniff* awww..isnt that bad that she spent her whole for me n then im gonna leave her...aww :(

Aniwaz i gotta go get a gift for my mom now :) n its a challenge cuz she likes so many things (just like me :P) n always say she doesnt currently needs or wants anything so i donno what she like best now awww..

Aniwaz happy Women's Day to all u out there who's squeezing 48 hours into 24 (even tho u sometimes dont recognize it!:))to change the world and help people discover they are loved. :)

*smile*
Lan Anh